Works Outs, Independent Study, and web editing

Once upon a time there was a girl with my name and appearance and she considered herself fairly in shape. When all was said and done this statement held up under scrutiny but she was by no means the incredible hulk. Then one days she discovered this blog and her life changed forever--or, less dramatically, for that day and maybe for her work out routines in the future.

I think I'll stop talking in third person now. So I did the suicidal sweat work out and then I did 50 burpees in total (5 sets of 10). I plan on doing at least 100 sit ups (no big deal for me, I have a bad back, so I've been doing sit ups to strengthen my core since I was 9) to have a well rounded work out. Triceps, biceps, shoulders, calves, thighs, and (in a bit) core. My goodness I am going to be hurting tomorrow. I think I'm going to start using this blogs workouts though because I am getting dead tired of my standard go to's. Plus many of her work outs count as cardio instead of just strength training. Awwwwesome!

Also, I have been working on my pieces for my independent study in bursts. I have completed 13 of the necessary 20--well the minimum is 20, I said 20-30 on my proposal but I'm thinking it's going to be more like 20 because I wrote 6 of my pieces before the semester even started (winter break was useful, but I'd hoped to get more writing done) so I've only done 7 during the semester. We are in the 5th week now so that means I'm only averaging 1.4 pieces per week (or approx 3 pieces every 2 weeks). so this means it will be at least another 5 weeks before I have reached my minimum, leaving me 5 weeks to edit and submit my final chapbook to my advisor as well as the contest we found. This is the schedule my advisor and I set up so I am on track, and honestly I think I'd only need 2 weeks to edit and put the chapbook together (without being stressed out about it) so I have 3 weeks of leeway. I guess I'm just worrying about nothing. The collection of thus far completed pieces can be found here.

In other class news, I really need to work on my tourism project this week since the love of my life comes home on weekends and eats all my time ;) I also need to start reading this dang book for my anthropology class. The take home exam on the book isn't due until late April, but I have a feeling I will need a thorough understanding of the book for it and it is not a topic I am at all interested in so it will be slow going with the reading.

In work related news, I rocked house today and solved some serious issues that my coworkers and the company we are working with for the website overhaul could not figure out. I got a lot of praise and I really feel appreciated at my job--a feeling I have never had before. I hope the awesome train keeps on rolling :)

Reflections

I am realizing how much life has improved since this time last year. Valentine's day last year my incredibly crappy ex did nothing. He has an "anti-Valentine's day" dinner the night before, but refused to acknowledge the day itself. I realized a couple of weeks before that that I was no longer in love with him, but it wasn't until that day that it hit me hard. I cried that night and asked him if he even loved me. I think I was looking for a mutual out, I think I was hoping he would say no. But he said yes and I could see it in his face. We went on a break 19 days later on March 5th. On March 17th I found out he had cheated on me with my supposed best friend. I waited until the 20th to meet up with him to end it because I knew he had an exam and I cared enough to not end it before the test.

I ended it and refused to cry in front of him. A week later he came to my house and bought me lunch, my favorite drink, and my favorite snack as well as a mixed CD. Too little too late. He asked me to forgive him but in the end I made him leave. He came around my work a lot and it was awkward. He told me when I changed my mind, he would still be there. 3 weeks later he went out on a date with the girl he is now dating. It made me wonder if he was rebounding or if he had just lied again and had never loved me at all.

I worked out too much, I drank too much, I ate too little. Then I moved on after a week of being stupid. I reconnected with the man I had been infatuated with as a teen and we have been together ever since.

It amazes me how much more I feel with him, how much happier he makes me and how much I want nothing more than to be with him for always. It makes me wonder if I was ever in love with my ex or if I was just settling. I remember being interested in marrying my ex as we dated for many years but I was never overjoyed. My current, lovely boyfriend and I have not ever discussed marriage but we both have indicated we are looking for long term commitments. My current boyfriend I am so much more ecstatic about that I cringe when I think what I would be like if I was stuck with my dead end ex who still lived at home at the age of 28 (now 29 and still at home unless he's mooching off his current girlfriend) and made me spend my money on him all the time while he spent very little on me. I don't put price tags on relationships, but if I am the one making all the expenditures, something is clearly wrong.

Flash forward a week after my breakup when I reconnected with my now boyfriend. We had drinks, I kissed him. We went on some dates, he went to OCS and we wrote letters. There was an interim where he decided to end things as his family was trying to kick him out and he was worried about being military (this lasted all of 10 days). Since then things have gotten more serious, more fun, and I am absurdly in love. I am completely and utterly in love to the point where I feel my body radiating with it. I feel like people can look at me and must be able to feel it too. I hope they do, because I want to share the supreme happiness I feel.

One year after the beginning of the end of phase one of my life and I am the best me I have been in a long time. I met the best friends of my life, started dating the love of my life, got a fantastic job, moved out, and am in my last semester of college. I am living life, and living it well. My boyfriend said to me it saddened him how many people don't enjoy life; I told him I have never enjoyed life more.

I want to hold him, he tells me he wants to hold me without prompting. He is my favorite and I want for nothing. I am finally free of regret, of fear, of uncertainty for the first time in my life. I wish everyone in the world the same happiness.