Waxing Religion

Something that never ceases to amaze me about the various religious sects is their unfailing arrogance that they are right and everyone else is wrong. Perhaps that is what is most off putting about it to me. I believe in God and that is about as far as I get. But that is not enough for any holier than thou branch of Christianity I have talked with. It is all or nothing and I feel judged in their presence. But who are they to judge? I may not know the Bible by heart but I do know Mathews 7 "Judge not, that ye be not judged". My father can quote that passage. An irony really, seeing as he is the biggest atheist I know. Comes from his Catholic upbringing I guess.

Sometimes I wish Dad had just let Granddad raise me Catholic. It was Catholic or nothing doe Dad's side of the family but my father refused. I think it's much easier ot understand and have faith, etc etc when you are raised with it from day one. Instead I got bible stories for children as a toddler, years of nothing, bible study at a 7/8 year old, then years of nothing since granddad found out and oh my the bible study class wasn't Catholic based, and then finally I started church hoping with my friends. Pentecostal, non-denominational, Baptist, Catholic (for over a year, Mass every Saturday Youth Group every Sunday), etc. It has done nothing but confuse me and dismay me. Everybody seems to hate everybody else. They preach love and acceptance, but only for the familiar. The "other" is "wrong" and they are "right". The other is to be saved and if not savable to be shunned.

I do have a wonderful friend who is Christian and answers all my questions as best she can without judging and she agrees with a lot of the things I see and say about Christian churches these days. She says things are changing, a revolution, a movement away from condemning. Hopefully, someday soon I can walk into a church and not feel accusatory glares from the church goers.

Hopefully someday I can feel God's presence because I have never felt it, but it's not for lack of trying. I believe in Him, but sometimes I don't think He believes in me.

And on that happy note, I leave you with The Tang of an Unearned Trophy, a poem about the self absorbed generation I was born into who are so certain of their importance because of all the trophies and medals they were given. We are called the trophy generation for a reason. Once again, text is below for the linkaphobic.

When people die
of creamy rum ruminations
I look up at my unearned
regalia
staring at my
lazy young heart
which will beat
or
will break
and
shed flavors.
Ribbons of organs will fall into ruins of sky because
we are adults,
not scruffy, just buying diamonds and
insurance:
a jar of pennies,
an adolescent girl
bracing to crash against malignancy
or faith
But we're only trash;
Toxic bottles.
We bob to music
And pull others in--
to our constructed superiority.
We don't deserve but
that is trivial
in the face of rum ruminations, penny jar insurance and
death.
The flavors are magnificent.